It’s February and Valentine’s Day punctuates the middle of this month, pulling to the surface, whether we like it or not: How Do You Love?
Yes, a big question and one that is up for review many times in our lives.
The relationships we journey through are a always a powerful mirror to reflect back our blind spots around our self worth and how we love ourselves.
How often in the past have you wanted the other person to be and do something for you that you were not doing for yourself? This is how we learn about love and how to return to the loving nature that gets buried beneath our fears and mis-steps. It’s messy in “earth school” and it is going to get confusing when we venture into unchartered territory. Isn’t that what love asks of us? To risk releasing control of the outcome and trust the journey unfolding in front of us?
I understand this is not always easy, we have been convinced that love and validation exist outside of us and that we need to earn it, work for it, make it happen. Yikes! This creates a climate of power struggles and neediness. I have watched it play out at diﬀerent stages of my life and all roads lead back to home. Back to my own feelings of fear around deservedness. That somehow I am not enough. This is where the real work begins and the ending will take care of itself.
What is the missing ingredient?
Truth. We have to learn to love all of our truths: the good , the bad, and the ugly. We are not meant to be perfect little robots. We are unique, weird, diﬀerent, and if we cast those parts of ourselves aside and outsource our worth, we will not be in state to give and receive true love. When we reclaim what has been forgotten, we insource our worth and develop the most relationship of all, the one within. We all want and need love. It is where we grow and thrive. Without the mud there would be no lotus.
How can you allow the relationships in your life to fertilize and grow something new and beautiful in you? The bud will form, may you trust the process with your heart, and continue to unfold and blossom one day at time.